Friday, May 21, 2010

Mountain Climbing

For everyone who has tried going up the mountain before will tell you that if your not in shape then better re-consider something else, so no i havent been in good shape lately, and yes i have good reasons for not waking up early to exercise like other normal days...but still i set out mountain climbing for a week am actually almost at the mountain peak since its friday and man !! the view,the anticipation ,the relief,the moment ive been waiting for is almost near, i dont know how many of us have seen the ribena advert..the way that purple berry just burst its beautiful,smooth,exciting purple colour,sweet !!! yep so you can imagine am going to be on top of this mountain on sunday. the camera flashing, my friends cheering, my mission accoplished, my answers waiting,my fruits riping, hey it may even rain the Lord does have a good sense of homour, he likes to introduce and celebrate his own in style.

I know what your thinking, so what people have climbed mountains before ?? and al tell you yes, they have hell ive attempted many times before !! i only lasted a day or two and in those days all i did was complain and nag, asking God why ? do i really need to do this ?? whens the next meal ?? ohh Lord i cant and honestly it was so pathetic !! so how did i make it this far this time ?? well it was LOVE, yep they say love can make you do crazy things...climb mountains,cross valleys,die for people and hey love people before you even met them !! what was backstreet thinking ??
remember the days when you were in high school and its friday and guys will receive letters , smelling of perfume and sfter reading it at the bottm there would be the DEDICATIONS .

dedication

for you i will by monica
soledad by west life
i knew i loved you before i met you -backstreet boyz
as long as you love me by backstreet boys...


sounds familiar huh!! well thats what got me..i got myself the love bug !! i mean how could i not fall for him ?? he is the perfect thing that ever happened to me, he is the kinda guy you take home to meet mama !! he is kind,he listens,he patient,loving,caring,understands,humble,faithful,he provides and protects me i mean i would be crazy not to have done this for him, he loves mountain climbing, he explained it this way, visualise it,

Me and my beloved walking hand in hand, throught the expedition peaks, smilling and laughing and enjoying each others company,the ropes and safety harness tying us together as we conquired steep rocks climbing up, mastering the grasps when faced with the steep copped peaks, slidding through the steeper terrains yelling all the way,beating the altitude sickness that would have me throwing up two days in a row...baby if we could beat the altitude and terrain we could beat up anything that came our way.....how could i say no to that ?? how could i say no to spending time with the love of my life, giving myself, my whole self fully and completly to him to have his way with me, intimacy at its deepest of levels, of couse it was hard, i cried, pleaded to go back home but this time he held my hand, he carried me, he gave me water to drink, he nursed me back to health,five days later we still holding hands,giggling, as we climbing on higher by each passing second,minute,hour and day....loving and cherishing each moment we spend together,making memories through this journey to remind us why we need to take this trip every so often.....


Love breeds sacrifice, and my sacrifise to this mountain has costed me, food,facebook,television and some friends..... as i come to a close in my fast this week i cant help but fall in love with you more Lord...i loved, i served,i danced,i sang, i listened and heard....

psalm 84

i love you LORD.

Wanjiku Ndungu

Thursday, May 13, 2010

WHEN AM UP TO NO GOOD,GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING GOOOD !!!

what can i say thats what ive been feeling for the past two weeks, i mean there were so many questions with no answers,or maybe answers that i dint like to hear, i wanted everything to just stand still let me cry and grieve, let this pain all come out damn !!! why do i alwsys end up on at the same door over and over again ? my heart was tired,weak and hurt. there was little i could do about it so i wanted to get back or hit back on the pain i did but it only lasted for a while..........

yesterday i read proverbs 3:5 trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding....i sang and held to that verse as if it was the only thing that kept me sane, i talked to God the whole day just saying forgive me and restore me....i met friends who encourage me and walked and listened and prayed with me. for a normal person ciku was fine for those who know me well, i was breaking apart.

so yesterday as i was being restored some friends surprised me with a belated birthday white chocolate cake....ive never had a cake for my birthday !!!i couldnt stop smilling, i almost burst out crying....they sang,we ate,they made jokes and it was fun, at a time when i was feeling all alone God was behind the scenes preparing me for a greater day,greater fellowship.....

Today i woke up and lingered in bed a little while i talked to God and told him my fears,my dreams and concerns, i opened his word and read hannah's story (the barren woman who finaly got a child by the name of samuel and offered him to God for service)i read about how that woman prayed earnestly without ceasing to God....and man did i love her faith !!! i finished my devotion with psalms 37:4 take delight in the Lord and he will grant you the desires of your Heart...

I have a smile on my face today for am delighting in my Lord,My God is up to something today.

ciiku

Thursday, May 6, 2010

AM A WOMAN-inspired by Lawi Mwangi

Its 3:30am again, heh God clearly comes at odd hours he he he remember no one knows the day, the time,nor the hour of his coming so when he calls regardless of what time it is! I will answer....
Here am Lord what would you have me do?

So today i finally confessed, becaming a house wife is not such a bad idea,especially when your children are still young and trying to learn all this growing up stuff....i know what your thinking! No it has nothing to do with the fact that Imani Maina was baptized today i mean she is a beautiful baby Wah! Or the fact that i was surrounded with so many mmmm 92 other babies yea the sermon was tricky today he he he babies crying but interesting all the same.....so later today as i was confessing my new found motherly instinct it kinda came as a surprise! Ok let me introduce you to ciiku 5 years ago or rather all life till recently...Corporate woman,closing deals in style,high heels shoes,killer mini suit, professional make up, black bmw,black brief case, gold and visa cards, a flirty mode when needed,and a scent you wouldnt forget even if you tried to! I was out to get the world,out to be a man...out to prove that a woman can do anything and even more than a man can, marriage was well if it happened fine if it dint a house in nyali,a weekend at the bahamas and hell even a vibrator would come in handy.... As for babies well my dears that was definately not my calling i mean every baby i carried screamed their lungs out!! Its like they were screaming chick this aint your forte find your path he he he he

So two years ago all this started to come into shape the killer job,killer contracts and deals,shaking hands with important people,some holiday here and there and living life in the fast lane! Was loving it! I had everything i wanted ! At the end of each day i would go home or in a restaurant and have supper, i would be sitted there all alone and even after celebrating a big deal closed in the office i couldnt get to celebrate it out of the office...i mean i had friends but hardly had time to see them, couldnt call my family coz ive bounced going home for a month and they couldnt take my word that i would make it the next weekend.....

Today evening a saw a woman lying in a trench beside the road,for me nairobi is cold and the way she was dressed wasnt helping at all....she was drunk,she was weeping, and this man they were with asked her to alight from the mat that they were in but she wouldnt. So he came out shoved her on the pavement and started driving off....some people crowded and i had to leave,

We live in the man era so its called and as women we constantly try to beat men in so many ways! I mean look at us we are successful, we are famous,we are intelligent, and man cant we multi task! As men were being Created by God,He took time to Design women. He knew exactly what he was doing when he created you a woman, God took his time to instill the water tanks in your eyes that just start when we have a woishe moment,he created a fragile heart coz he knew loving a man well its not easy he he he,God created those open arms for me to hug even the unhuggeble(i try to stop but i cant:)). He created us strong to face even the most toughest situations and still come out scarred but alive, He created in us a hope when everyone else has given up. He created in us motherly instincts to care and love even those who have hurt us along the way, If God was to do an advert about a woman i guarantee you we would all vuka to the better option.

Am a Woman and am here to stay, so as i climb this ladder to my career this is the one thing i dont want to forget.....as i plan to put on my killer suit and close deals,as i make business calls and get the urge to be flirtatious i remind myself am a woman,act like a lady think like a man-steve harvey...he he he i dont think so....man enough to be a woman-jayne courty and how to became a man by john birma somethng....Men play dirty women play dirtier and in the process loose not only their morals,self worth,esteem coz as much as you try to hide it,nothing that happens in the dark will not come to light,

i know people say live life its never that serious....i say would rather live life being me than being buried as someone else.
Aretha franklin's a rose still a rose...baby girl your still a flower....so no matter what has happened in the past, the angels stand in awe of you because you are fearfully and wonderfully made....

Genesis 2:22-23